Asking yourself when was the last time you had “growth” what would you say? I learned how to do my taxes by myself. I removed the toxic people from my life. I don’t know? I grew 3 inches in high school? (People that take everything literal). Defining what growth is usually a big challenge on its own and many struggle to give some semblance of an answer. This is totally fair. How often do you get asked about growth? Many would say during their yearly eval. Got to type it up to make them sound like they have their life figured out. We’ve all been there, either acting like we have it figured out because of feelings that we have to keep pace with those around us, our supervisor expects it, or those we supervise look up to us. I am writing this on November 15, 2020. COVID is in full stride, depending on where you live the level of “reopening/# wave of resurgence” looks different. Regardless, this has made everyone acutely aware of the shit they do not have figured out.
So let’s define growth in my context. Growth is your adaptation to some problem, challenge, or hell, a quest you went on. Growth means you can address the problem or challenge without having to go through the motions of full problem-solving. This does not mean it comes effortlessly or that you have mastery. Mastery would be tying your shoes=zero effort and its muscle memory now.
For whatever reason, I have decided to draw out some diagrams of what I have been explaining in concepts like this to my staff. Oddly when I think about and describe these concepts I see these images in my mind. Drawing them out helps me get the idea out fully and helps others understand the concept deeply. They always ask to take photos of the drawings, so something must be working.
When trying to grow, what gets in the way? Stress, family, I don’t want to, life, adulting, work, money, reasons, reasons, etc. When trying to grow we let our own personal bullshit get in the way. We let ourselves off the hook and decide to take the easier route. It's a human thing to do. Never would I advocate that you work until falling over from exhaustion. Explaining that if you truly tried, truly wanted something over anything else would you move past these personal bullshit items and find a way? You have done this in your past, so instead of allowing yourself to say you can’t; ask yourself “why don’t I deserve this”. Yeah. Uncomfy now? Me too.
This model can be used for anything when looking at why growth did not occur. I find it the most helpful when reviewing why I did not do something in the past or an event did not go the way I wanted it to. The presentation flopped? Well, I did decide that I would just wing it. Couldn’t find my keys? Well, I did choose to just set them on the table and not on the hook because I thought I would be late. Interactions with colleagues keep making me frustrated? Did I approach them in a heated state before lunch when I was hungry and didn’t sleep much last night?
For writing this first article, I have been “working on my website” since March of 2020. My reason for the small amount of progress I have made: pandemic, newly married, wife medical school interviews, wife moving an hour away for medical school, the uncertainty of employment, looking for a new job to live with my wife. All very valid reasons. But, if I started to count all the times I came home after work and just turned on my Xbox, I would make myself sick. (insert uncomfortable laughter here). My personal bullshit=thinking I am not a writer. My thinking (insert imposter syndrome) is that everyone I know writes in academic journals or for professional magazines. I am putting this article where my mouth is. What’s your bullshit?
Please let me know what you think of this article. I want to improve. Leadership is a science, being a leader is an art form though. Refer this to someone for them to own their bullshit.
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