Oftentimes I get asked the different steps of success, in a roundabout way, and overall what that means. Wondering what people are looking for and how do they move to be more productive. Comparing to someone else that possesses great executive functions or planning. Anytime I end up talking about this, I have to ask people a bunch of basic questions. I believe this will be part one and a multi-part series that, at some point, I will try to cover altogether in a complete document, so please bear with me.
Many times the initial question must be, “not how can you complete this task?; "Why are you even completing the task?” They want to complete the task and we can't examine it at a higher level. Usually, they are in mild crisis because they are overwhelmed and explaining they do not have free time. In this aspect, I ask, “how do you plan your day?” this is where I usually get the blank stare of wonder, “What do you mean? I have a calendar.” Okay, please show me your calendar. The calendar usually has the essential functions or items needed to get done that day. “Two assignments and you need to send an email; that’s all you need to get done today?” “Well...no. I have four classes today, have to call my grandma, and I need to do my laundry.” “Where is that on the schedule?” “I will work on it when I have free time…”. Hopefully, you see the problem. Their scale is out of wack. All the weight is on them remembering.
Not knocking someone that uses a calendar in this way. I applaud you for using one at all. I never did and would remember everything at the beginning. (Kind of) Having something is better than not having anything because as we move through life, and depending on what stage you are right now, you'll understand that you need a system to scale with you. You cannot try to recreate a system every single time. It is a pain in the ass to develop new habits, and many of us often struggle with this. Step 1. Put everything in your calendar: I don't care if it is lunch or calling grandma on the way to work. If you plan to do it, put it on your calendar. Okay, so we mapped out the basic functions. What is your day, and what does it look like every single day. I'm not a Type A individual, I don't like it going through one through three of a list or whatever. I had to learn to do this because I know it gave me more freedom. Suppose I don't write it down. I don't remember it. That's a phrase that you can ask anyone that's ever worked for me that I always end up repeating out loud.
Okay, you have everything in your calendar. You no longer have to spend precious brain capacity to “remember to forget later” something. Cool. Step 2. Where do you have time to get active in your schedule? All right. So, where's the time to take care of yourself physically. I don't care what that looks like. I'm not here to gym shame say, “if you aren’t deadlifting five days a week, why are you even trying?!” Blah blah blah, any of that crap. Go for a walk, being outside, or whatever is better than not, especially right now, when we're socially distant. Maybe going to the gym is not up to your alley of what you can do, or what you feel comfortable with, or the gym is super slammed because of all the new year's resolution people again. More power to them because they're doing something versus not. Being physical, I don't care what it is, but you can't be sitting.“Well, I will get to it.” Usually, people end up coming to me saying that they don't have the time. They don't have the time for this. They don't have the time for that. Okay. So if you don't have the time for being physically active for an hour at least each day, the old adage says: You don't have time for an hour a day of being physically active? Do you have time to be dead 24 hours a day?
How out of balance is your scale?
Step 3, when do you do something for yourself? The number one thing that people always say when I end up asking this is, “well, I'm going to take a nap, or I had this meal, or I had some food or whatever.” Do not get me wrong. That's great. If you did that with a friend, or you did something outside the norm. Sure. Sleeping and eating are required to be alive. Do not get this confused; please try harder. It can be coloring. It can be painting. It can be talking to a friend. It can be talking to relatives on the phone. It can be walking dogs at the shelter. I don't care. I don't need the answer. You need the answer.
Usually, this spurs another question that we'll probably cover in another part of this segment, “what are your hobbies?” because if you do not know what your hobbies/interests are, the universe will decide for you. Lastly, a small tag on this is making sure to limit your apps and your phone time. A very easy way is to go in and see how much screen time you've had every day on your phone. I don't really care about the actual total screen time. I have to use it for work to blur the lines of what is acceptable. I'm talking about apps that you're using mindlessly. The 10 minutes turns into three hours kind of apps. Setting an app to only be one hour is really beneficial because you have no idea how much you've already burned through the time it's like 8 am. It's really surprising. You can just hit ignore, and then you can keep doing it. That's fine, but you have to decide to do that, and you're doing that each time. Another useful item that I'll tag here is the timing timer. I have a really big issue personally, of trying to keep track of time. “Right, I'm gonna do this for 30 minutes” I'll look down, then back up. I think that the time is like going really slow and two hours will have gone by. Other times I look down and up and “oh my gosh, I've probably run out of time,” and it's only been 15 minutes.
Please send this to anyone that would benefit from this article, and please give me feedback. Your article's payment is to give me your insight, takeaways, disagrees. Did I get it right? What did I miss? Ultimately you can reset the scale in your favor towards success.
Thanks so much.
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