Filler words are a great sense of comedy and annoyance for me. What are filler words and what I'm talking about? I'm not just talking about “Uhh or umm”. Those are the most annoying culprits. Giving a speech or if you've had an intro communication class where you are told “If you say, um, I'll dock you by three points each time!”. Been there. I am talking about filler words outside of these.
Filler words are not inherently bad. They have their use. Within the study of linguistics, they are used to emphasize in a conversation that we're still speaking. Conversations are back and forth, between more than one parties. If I take a very long pause, you think it's your turn to speak and add to the conversation, hence, the filler word. Everyone is guilty of filler words, including me. Occasionally, for some reason, when I am giving a speech, I tend to overuse the word “like”. Subconscious drive to live in California one day? Unsure.
The times that I see filler words being used the most is when people have not fully fleshed out thoughts or feelings that they have behind a question being posed to them. They're eager to respond, but the brain is like a cd skipping on a track, unable to move forward. (Did I just date myself using a physical media reference?)
When I ask someone, “ How's it been going lately, what's something that's new with you, what have you done for yourself this week? ”. This is usually framed through the reference of COVID (insert uncertainty, discomfort, fear, etc. yuck). The two words I see the most are “I don’t know” and “It’s weird”. My team knows this all too well. I literally have a whiteboard behind my desk in my office with a tally sheet under these two words. I use this sparingly. This is not done to mock, but to educate and show a point with what they are saying.
I find it very interesting that these are the phrases that are spoken, maybe it's a Midwest thing, maybe it's just a U.S. thing. Please comment and let me know if you have other filler words that I missed or you can think of. Always interested in what others have to say. I don't expect that everyone play out emotionally on every single life scenario or question asked. I find it concerning when I ask questions, “Hey, what do you want out of your time in college?, How are you working towards a big goal?, What's a passion in your life?” More often than not, filler words are given.
Although I primarily work with college students, this interaction plays out with others I interact with, family, friends, etc. Regardless of the audience, they give me a puzzled look as if the filler word answer given is totally reasonable and rational for them to say, “I don't know what I want out of life. (thumbs up emoji)” Que me sitting here. Equally puzzled. Asking myself, “How is it that no one asked you this? You're legally an adult?”
What would your tally sheet look like?
Filler words are not inherently bad. The less we use them, the more true we are to ourselves; to how we're feeling. It's okay to say, “I don't know, give me a second to think about that”. I feel that in our instant gratification time, we need an answer right then and there. Not having thought about the question somehow makes you a bad person. This is not true. One of my favorite quotes is by Bill Nye, “Everyone you will meet knows something you don't”. You will be asked a question for the first time, quite a bit for the rest of your life.
Don't let it stress you out, but don't just put in filler words. I want you to make a resolution with me, stop filling your mouth with filler words. Instead, speak with your honest heart and mind. Please let me know what you think of this article. I want to improve. Leadership is a science, being a leader is an art form. Refer this to someone who fills in too many blanks.
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