Lately, when working with students I have been using examples of myself in how I am as a person and how I show up at work are very similar. I will hold up one hand and say this is who I am as a person. How I act, what I like, my values, and my perceptions. I hold up my other hand and say this is my career. This is what I do in my day-to-day work, my interactions with students, my colleagues, and my employer's values and expectations of me.
I then overlap these hands and say how these two things greatly overlap and are very similar all the time. I say “I am myself all the time. I am who I am in my personal life, as I am the person in my work life.” This example I use to show that by working towards education of what you want you will be able to more closely align the self and the career. I ask the students I work with why is it when they see someone in the checkout line at Meijer (a midwest grocery store) blow up and get all mad for a small inconvenience that may be why they are acting this way. I pontificate that this is in a large part to the incongruency in their life and career/job/work.
Congruency is a psychological principle that Carl Rogers developed in the 1950s elaborating on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs which I am a huge fan of. Without this turning into a literature review of what is self-actualization to which psychologist. The following graphic lays out best what I alluding to. (The Y13 and ABB are clearly from our UK friends)
Congruence and incongruence: Counseling psychology, psychology notes, cognitive therapy. Pinterest. (2018, August 6). Retrieved August 6, 2022, from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/573364596305852485/
Using the example of the person observed in the Meijer checkout line I postulate that they have incongruences in their life and specifically their career where most people spend at least 40+ hours of their week. Even longer if you think about the amount of time you talk about work outside of work with others, prepare for your work week, etc.
7 Days X 24 Hours= 168 Hours
-7 Days X 8 hours for sleep
-40 hours for work
-5 Days X 1 hour getting ready
- 5 Days X 1 hour round trip commute
=62 hours that are just your time
If this large amount of time is the one variable pushing you to spend all the time doing it, why not have it closely related to who you are as a person? It could be said that the incongruence of your work life is cutting off your passion for life. This is one part of life you get to decide what to do. If you cannot change the work you do in the short term because of other anchors in life ie family, debt, or others, you can choose the method by which you show up and are an active participant in life. I argue that you deserve this and should be entitled to lead a fulfilling and passionate life. Will it be easy and never have any down moments? Absolutely not. You can take action right now to define what you want to do long-term as an important step. If you are unsure where to start I suggest last week's article here. Your first coaching session with me is a great jumpstart to prime yourself in the right direction.
Until next time. -Dustin
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