Do you have a perception or ability to notice something that you cannot turn off even if you tried? For some, this shows up as a great sense of smell. You are immediately aware of something gross and can tell the restaurant you and your friends are out to dinner at burned something earlier. I have noticed for me that pattern in language that people use really sticks out. I feel like I cannot shut it off either. Language contains power and emotion. Using negative self-talk can affect your physical well-being. Understanding the way that you talk about yourself, your life, your situations can change how happy you are. Sounds very simple and straightforward, but it is astonishingly disregarded and treated as inconsequential.
When asked about what stress is or what stress in your life is, many can easily layout a situation or person that is “the cause” of stress for them. If stress is negative effects or influences you and your life, what would be the counter to that? I enjoy framing that “stress” in the more biological sense. Stress is the response to a stressor (duh) which is outside or environmental stimulus. Stress does not have morals or is not inherently bad. If the sun is shining on your face this would not be called “stress” by anyone. Biologically it might be causing stress, making you sweat, or repairing UV damage to your skin. Stress is environmental forces acting upon you, your framing or viewing of the situation decides whether it is viewed as eustress or distress. Distress is the “bad” type of destructive stress that many would describe “stress” as overall. Eustress is positive stress, stress that pushes you to be better and gives healthy and positive feelings. Such feelings after working out, runners high, or a sense of meaning through your work and life. Smith, Craig (1991), "The Self, Appraisal and Coping", Handbook of Social and Clinical Psychology: The Health Perspective, New York, NY: Pergamon Press, pp. 116–137
Eustress vs distress is primarily separated by perception and view of the stress in the situation and ability to handle the stress. Have there been times where a situation or environment causes you distress sometimes and others eustress? Your biology in the presence of a stressor can dictate this heavily. Not enough sleep? Didn’t eat breakfast? Distress will be your perception first. Acknowledging your perception of the situation into something you can handle is the goal of this article. How you decide in your mind will dictate how you show up physically, mentally, and emotionally. The environment I am writing this article in is distressful to me. I love this coffee shop, it positively influences me to be creative and makes me happy. Others gather here too and talk. I know that for myself, I have a challenging time focusing on typing in a loud environment. I understand that I need to bring my headphones to remove that barrier for distraction for me. This changes this into a eustress environment for me.
Do you tell others of the mountain of circumstance and heartache; or the fun hill that really pushed you and could handle another?
Before everyone gets in my inbox about “stress is still bad Dustin!”, yes even eustress can be bad. Even chronic eustress can be bad as there will not be recovered to enable an individual to perform at their peak. Eustress is about pushing you just past your previous ability. Progressively overloading you to respond better. This will eventually lead to exhaustion, even if you feel good while performing in this manner.
When talking about “stress” in your life, how are you describing it? How are you viewing it? How are you shaping the scenario? Do you tell others of the mountain of circumstance and heartache; or the fun hill that really pushed you and could handle another? I can view someone in my mind telling me about the mountain of circumstance. Visibly seeing how heavy their shoulders look while talking about the metaphorically slippery snow-covered path they must trudge up when talking about their distress. I can also view a person talking about the same situation and circumstance, smiling, telling me how it was challenging but that is what they enjoy. They appear light on their feet. Excited and looking for something else to test themselves on.
Mountain of heartache, or jog up the hill? You decide what you want. Next time we will dive deeper into eustress and flow state. How stress can motivate and even euphoric.
Until next time.
-D